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A woman walks into a bar. Her name is Porto. She’s a regular. She likes this bar: serious food, serious wine, serious bartender–a staple in a gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood (perhaps Bushwick?). Her friends, her wine, and her artisanal snacks are there; her doubts about being a Modern Woman are put on snooze. A handsome stranger walks in and orders something special. Disruption ensues: an upside-down romantic comedy unfolds inside and outside her head. Desires of all kinds are awakened with a ferocious thump. A nice smile is a nice smile, but can we enjoy the sausage once we know how it’s made?
[ ] — a lesser god, or a person of many genders who owns a bar
DOUG THE BARTENDER — a foodie, 40s
HENNEPIN — some version of a Hot Guy, late 30s
PORTO — a Woman in the middle, late 30s or early 40s
DRY SAC — the hottest woman you’ve ever laid eyes on, 40 going on 20
RAPHAEL THE WAITER — the friendliest guy, late 30s
THE CHORUS OF DUMB BUNNIES — just what they are
SIMONE DE BEAUVOIR — Raphael the Waiter in drag: sincere, and really enjoying it.
GLORIA STEINEM — Doug the Bartender in drag: sincere and not so much. Hard to tell with that guy.
Setting
A bar with good food.
A gentrifying neighborhood in Brooklyn.
Then back to the bar.
And then, inexplicably: a steeple, a lake.
And once: an apartment. Just the living room.
We never want to see the kitchen here.
(Or we always want to see the kitchen, but we are not going to.)
But always: the bar.
Time
Now, or recently
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Explore the script before you license. TRW Perusal Packs and Digital Plays are now available on Heyzine where you can instantly view on any web browser on any device, anytime.
- The New York Times
- Vulture
